Year 2009

This year I have done lot of things and maybe it is hard for me to remember all little things, but I remember some. I also know that I have wasted a lot of time searching myslef in palces I never was. And maybe learning from it all wasn't always easy, but I am glad that I did.

The very first thing I remember - finishing high school. It was huge for me. I was so scared of exams, of course we all were, but for me exam results were extremely important - my future. Now sitting here and chillin it seems like so far away and I can even joke about it all, because all turned out pretty well.

Summer was weird. I wasted lot of time waiting for results, because I couldn't think about anything else. Yeah, I did some fun stuff too besides waiting and starwing myslef to death. We swam across the lake, went to Fono festival, to BW concert at Depo, read some good books, did a lot of work out to keep myslef fit. Then mum went to her brother to UK and I was in charge of all things at home. Results came and got in the Via :)

Starting studies was another huge thing for me. I found out that finally I have thing I would like to do for living and that I am in the right place. It feels like that.Studies occupied almost all my time. I felt good after all tons of work were done, but tottally exhausted, emo, tired and kinda lost.

There were like two BW concerts during studies, where I let out all bad things and tried to turn them in to something good. I love that band.

Dances also is great part of my life. I had my ups and downs, but I still love dancing and I will try to do my best at concert January second. All I need to remember is - why I started.

I would like to think that next year - 2010 will be like moving closer to my dreams, new expierences, adventures and stuff.

Sending all my best, white thoughts to the world and people.

Peace,

Andromeda

P.S. I learn from every day.

Christmas

One of my favorite holidays are Christmas.
This time it is hard for me to get right feeling inside, because everyone seem to be in to their own things, work or far away. And it's just me sitting without anything to do, thinking about all stuff and what it means to me.

Christmas for me is about being together with those who I love and working out little, magical,Christmas wonders. Baking gingerbread, going after Christmas tree, decorate it, feeling happy,tangerines, all Christmas scents, Christmas songs, Home alone movies, Christmas lights, candles,joy and tons of things or feelings I just can't write down, because there are no words for them or I just don't know the right way how to do it jet.

Yes, that's about it. I hope that emptiness I feel soon will pass away and this Christmas will be joyful and awesome. And I wish white snowy be here til holidays ends.

Guitar

When I was little kid my mum did give me choice - go to art school or music school. I was so small and choose to got to art school. And I am happy that I made that choice. I remember that argument for going to art school was - my sister already plays piano and that there are enough of musicians at home. The second hidden thing was, that even if I decided to go to music school it wouldn't be piano or violin, or anything like that, but a guitar. Mum would never buy it for me.

Why guitar? It is like finding missing pieces of myself. My dad use to play guitar and he also loved to draw and paint and all artistic things. I never had a chance to get know him, but there are lot of things every one have told me. Since I was kid I have this dream - learn to play guitar. It means a lot to me. I love the way guitar sounds and it is something magical to me.

So finally I have chance to buy it myself and to make one of my dreams come true. Now I just have to find teacher, who would teach me how to play, because I have no time for music school anymore.

And yeah, I am lefthander so my guitar will be left handed.

Why I love live shows so much...

This morning was so magical. Ok, at first it was a little bit hard for me to get out of bed and then get on the bus to home, but when I woke up I was feeling like I never went to bed, emotions still so bright and colorful.

First what I noticed was snow everywhere - just white, soft and peaceful snow. And later sun came out of clouds. Got on bus and put on music on my Ipod.

I guess this month was pretty hard for me, school, lot of work. All I was doing - learning, trying to concentrate as best as I could. There were a lot of emotions that I just had to keep to myself, not to burn or lose it.

And then after I was done all huge work, Bedwetters came! The reasons why I love this band so much are many - they are cool guys, who loves what they do. I love the way they connect with all people, I love that they are the way they are and that they are themselves no matter what.
I can see it at every show. They have their hearts at right place and that is most important thing. Love their music.
I totally respect them for all these things and wish them all the best. They are best band in Universe, right? ;)

Fun part of live shows - I can let out all the suppressed emotions and turn them into something positive - a joy. And not that it's just me there in the middle of crowd having fun, no! All people around and band on stage having fun together, charging each other with pure joy.

Concert was so awesome!!!!

And now thanks to Bedwetters, I feel peaceful again like the white snowy out side the window.

My pc is very slow today, I just wanted to blog a little, but I had to wait for 10 minutes while it opened this page.

Lately I have lot of work.
It is hard to force yourself to wake up earlier to do all stuff you weren't able to do day before, but somehow I survived that crazy week.

Now I guess this new week gonna be huge freedom if I compere the mount of tasks I needed to do.
I enjoy studying all interesting things about world, other cultures, history, places and religions. And more I get to know more I want to travel and see all things with my own eyes.

Right now I have to make presentation about worlds religious tourism and I'm telling you it is so fun!
I can't explain - I want to go to Tibet. There is something about that place, secret, mountains...Just ah, it would be so interesting, challenging, not easy.
Also India would be fun!

Starting my little things and peace rituals. Something for myself. Green tea, candles, meditation.

Time loop

And here I am again. Another Saturday just like week before, but not that it is same.
Lately I feel more and more exhausted and I have no idea how to keep my energy levels up. I must try something new, dunno - yoga, cold shower, tea.

My schedule is pretty tight - lectures, dances, all stuff they give us to do at home.
I know that there must be way how to not to pass out on book, but hell it's just not working jet.

And I really don't want my friends to think that I have forgotten them, cause I have not. Now I realize how hard it is to manage all things and that there is almost no time for my little things.

But I will make it work!

I like my fellow-students, they seem to be very friendly and smart people. Also I like what I'm studying.
"I like what I do, I do what I like" :)

These very last days been filled with joy and just unbelievable emotions. And I have so many people to thank for it. I love them all and there are no words for it, no hug big enough, no smile warm enough that can replace it.
I would like to share my feelings and give them something of my joy and even more for those who feels lost and stuck somewhere/nowhere.

I feel so alive and what's awesome - I feel like me.
You know, sometimes we get lost between all stuff that goes on around, between thoughts, idols, other people and we forget what we are. Yes! I'm so glad to be me.
Even other people notice and it makes me smile.

Now I feel no fear of what's out there, cause as long as I will be me, sure of what is right and wrong there is nothing that can stop me from my aims.
Love is what guides me, stars and belief in good.

Listening Metric - The Twist. Like it, cause it is different, something progressive.

I want to dance, I want to study and I want to read all my books. And after few days I will start to work my ass off for chasing those dreams I have. No matter how hard it might be.