Seek adventures

I've been here so long time. It seems so exciting just to leave everything behind and go somewhere new. But it won't happen so soon. I'm tide up to this place for now, but I'm doing everything that's in my power to work my way to it. I see it as opportunity to test my new skills, rest form all ordinary. Yeah, I am tired of all this, I'm bored. I seek some adventures.

Also latley I found myself not being happy about getting older. I think it just happens to everybody, but still... Have to grow up.

C'est juste un jeu

How it's been

It seems like it's been years from the last blog entry here. But it doesn't mean that world has stopped or my life.

Words are not just words to me anymore. Meaning, if I say I do something, I do it. I guess it is the greatest part of my development this far. I decided that it is finally time to take some action, that this year it is gonna be different.

I am just a little afraid to dream too big, but I have some pretty good ones in mind and I definitely will make them true.

But with all the good things there are also bad ones, ones that disturbes, ones I get angry about, but it doesn't mean that I give up. I never give up. What is started must be finished.

School time is here. I am still unsecure about some things, but working on them. Soon, very soon everything will settle and I will breath in again.

Trying hard not to drown between others again. It is just so f-ing hard sometimes. It must end, now.

"Again and again I see your face in everything..."

It's been a while

Lately I am writing a lot at sviesta ciba and maybe that is whay this place has been silent.

I am trying to work at all aspects of my life as best as I can. I want to give a reason and goals to every day. And seriously, my life is starting to make sense and I can see where I am going. It feels more right than before. Of course I still can't do everything in one day 'cause there is not enough time for everything.

At the end of my days I feel like there is no energy at all left inside and it lasts till next morning.

Year 2009

This year I have done lot of things and maybe it is hard for me to remember all little things, but I remember some. I also know that I have wasted a lot of time searching myslef in palces I never was. And maybe learning from it all wasn't always easy, but I am glad that I did.

The very first thing I remember - finishing high school. It was huge for me. I was so scared of exams, of course we all were, but for me exam results were extremely important - my future. Now sitting here and chillin it seems like so far away and I can even joke about it all, because all turned out pretty well.

Summer was weird. I wasted lot of time waiting for results, because I couldn't think about anything else. Yeah, I did some fun stuff too besides waiting and starwing myslef to death. We swam across the lake, went to Fono festival, to BW concert at Depo, read some good books, did a lot of work out to keep myslef fit. Then mum went to her brother to UK and I was in charge of all things at home. Results came and got in the Via :)

Starting studies was another huge thing for me. I found out that finally I have thing I would like to do for living and that I am in the right place. It feels like that.Studies occupied almost all my time. I felt good after all tons of work were done, but tottally exhausted, emo, tired and kinda lost.

There were like two BW concerts during studies, where I let out all bad things and tried to turn them in to something good. I love that band.

Dances also is great part of my life. I had my ups and downs, but I still love dancing and I will try to do my best at concert January second. All I need to remember is - why I started.

I would like to think that next year - 2010 will be like moving closer to my dreams, new expierences, adventures and stuff.

Sending all my best, white thoughts to the world and people.

Peace,

Andromeda

P.S. I learn from every day.

Christmas

One of my favorite holidays are Christmas.
This time it is hard for me to get right feeling inside, because everyone seem to be in to their own things, work or far away. And it's just me sitting without anything to do, thinking about all stuff and what it means to me.

Christmas for me is about being together with those who I love and working out little, magical,Christmas wonders. Baking gingerbread, going after Christmas tree, decorate it, feeling happy,tangerines, all Christmas scents, Christmas songs, Home alone movies, Christmas lights, candles,joy and tons of things or feelings I just can't write down, because there are no words for them or I just don't know the right way how to do it jet.

Yes, that's about it. I hope that emptiness I feel soon will pass away and this Christmas will be joyful and awesome. And I wish white snowy be here til holidays ends.

Guitar

When I was little kid my mum did give me choice - go to art school or music school. I was so small and choose to got to art school. And I am happy that I made that choice. I remember that argument for going to art school was - my sister already plays piano and that there are enough of musicians at home. The second hidden thing was, that even if I decided to go to music school it wouldn't be piano or violin, or anything like that, but a guitar. Mum would never buy it for me.

Why guitar? It is like finding missing pieces of myself. My dad use to play guitar and he also loved to draw and paint and all artistic things. I never had a chance to get know him, but there are lot of things every one have told me. Since I was kid I have this dream - learn to play guitar. It means a lot to me. I love the way guitar sounds and it is something magical to me.

So finally I have chance to buy it myself and to make one of my dreams come true. Now I just have to find teacher, who would teach me how to play, because I have no time for music school anymore.

And yeah, I am lefthander so my guitar will be left handed.

Why I love live shows so much...

This morning was so magical. Ok, at first it was a little bit hard for me to get out of bed and then get on the bus to home, but when I woke up I was feeling like I never went to bed, emotions still so bright and colorful.

First what I noticed was snow everywhere - just white, soft and peaceful snow. And later sun came out of clouds. Got on bus and put on music on my Ipod.

I guess this month was pretty hard for me, school, lot of work. All I was doing - learning, trying to concentrate as best as I could. There were a lot of emotions that I just had to keep to myself, not to burn or lose it.

And then after I was done all huge work, Bedwetters came! The reasons why I love this band so much are many - they are cool guys, who loves what they do. I love the way they connect with all people, I love that they are the way they are and that they are themselves no matter what.
I can see it at every show. They have their hearts at right place and that is most important thing. Love their music.
I totally respect them for all these things and wish them all the best. They are best band in Universe, right? ;)

Fun part of live shows - I can let out all the suppressed emotions and turn them into something positive - a joy. And not that it's just me there in the middle of crowd having fun, no! All people around and band on stage having fun together, charging each other with pure joy.

Concert was so awesome!!!!

And now thanks to Bedwetters, I feel peaceful again like the white snowy out side the window.